Sunday Funnies!!!

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her
young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she applied her
lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to
kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks
and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children
getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw
a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed
with stern warnings. As she left the room , she heard the three-year-old say
with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
*****

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was
like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it
hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in.
At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
*****

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you
and God are alike?" I was mentally thinking what a good impression I must have made on my grandchld, while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.
*****

A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
*****

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to
test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would
tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she
headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure
out some of these yourself!"
*****

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights
off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few
fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no
use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
*****

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "mine says I'm four to six."
*****

A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma,
guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a
little surprised, tried to keep her co ol. "That's interesting," she sa id, "how
do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to
'i' and add 'es'."
*****

Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher
took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she
asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
*****

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one
day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a
Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back ," said one child.
"No," said another, "he's just for good company." A third child brought the argument
to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants ...